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"Lars" Gives Hope to Nerds Everywhere - our first NERD MOVIE REVIEW! |
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Posted on Thursday, 25 October 2007 by Danimal
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Hey folks! David Spiecher here - one of the innumerable helping hands in the
Nerdcore Rising circle (okay, we're not innumerable, I would say
there's between 3 and 33 of us or something... my counting is not so
good). Ehem, anyways, we here at Nerdcore Rising had an itch to talk
about other nerd movies so whenever we see one currently in the
theatres or in one of those
loser-with-no-plans-on-a-Friday-NetFlix-nights, we're going to "review"
it.
I just saw "Lars & The Real Girl" so I'm gonna give you my
esteemed opinions below. Hope you enjoy...
love,
DSpike!
NerdMovie Review: Lars&the Real Girl
As I walked into "Lars and the Real Girl," I thought, "How can they
keep this up for 106 minutes?" But,when I walked out, I thought, "This
could be the prescription for nerds everywhere!" The premise here is
that Lars, played by Ryan Gosling, has finally found the perfect
companion - a girl named Bianca. She's beautiful - no scratch that,
she's HOT. She's smart. She helps others. Bianca's only flaw-she's not
a real girl.
When
I say she's not a real girl, I don't mean she's a plastic airhead like
Laura Conrad on "The Hills"- I mean she's actually made out of plastic!!
(note: some argue that "LC" is too, but for our purposes here, let's
assume she's a real human being at the mercy of terribly written
"reality" - oops, sorry if you were under the impression that "The
Hills" was a reality show.)
A plastic girl, maybe, but
one thing Bianca is not, is an imaginary girl - which, let's be honest,
is typically the girlfriend of choice for nerds. Chances are if you
scored 1500 on your SATs, you've also scored with a beautiful girl
whose only flaw is that she doesn't exist. So I say to you nerds:
rather than invent an imaginary girlfriend, why not just buy a plastic
one.
Lars introduces Bianca to his family and
friends as a girl he met on the Internet.
In Lars' defense, they did
"meet" on the Internet. There's a paper trail confirming that he and
Bianca "interacted" there. On the other hand, you my dear nerd, could
not produce one shred of evidence that you and what's-her-name had a
summer fling at Space Camp.
Plastic Girlfriend 1 - Imaginary Girlfriend 0.
At the urging of the family doctor (Patricia Clarkson), Lars' family
and friends go along with it. She's invited to dinners, social events
and even has regular visits to the doctor. Those around Lars embrace
Bianca because they know he's delusional.
In contrast, Imaginary
Girlfriend isn't invited to anything and is never embraced because
those around you know you're a total weirdo.
Lars'
brother Gus (Paul Schneider) and his wife (Emily Mortimer) not only
treat Bianca like a real girl, but they treat Lars like a guy who has a girlfriend. Unlike your brother (Football Captain) and his wife (Prom
Queen) who totally ignore your "girlfriend" and treat you like a guy
who's never touched a boob he didn't accidentally bump into.
Plastic Girlfriend 2 - Imaginary Girlfriend 0.
The *sweet* story in the film is that the community rallies around the
idea of Bianca to help Lars. As someone who clearly has lost his way -
a spiritually nomadic geek, if you will - it's almost as if Bianca is a
tool to "fix" him.
The
sad story in the average nerd's life is that the community wants you to
get help - as long as you get it somewhere else. A nerd's relationship
with "that girl from the ..:namespace prefix = st1 ns =
"urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" />Niagara Falls region"
makes him seem like a tool that needs fixing.
Plastic Girlfriend 3 - Imaginary Girlfriend 0.
"Lars and the Real Girl" is literally a model for nerd-love everywhere.
Chances are, most nerds are closer to this Lars than the great MC Lars
of "Nerdcore Rising" fame - his lyrics probably land him girls that live and breathe.
But, short of being a witty lyricist who gets girls-in-the-flesh, your
choice may some day come down to plastic vs. imaginary.
I say, choose
plastic.
Hey, these things are not just anatomically correct these
days - you can get one so life-like it will not only have sex with you,
but will even stick around to listen to your theory on the Teenage
Mutant Ninja Turtles' affect on Mid-East politics. And that, my
friends, is pretty awesome.
Tags: reviews Lars & The Real Girl
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A Negin Farsad Film/A Vaguely Qualified Production
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