“Lars” Gives Hope to Nerds Everywhere – our first NERD MOVIE REVIEW!

Hey folks! David Spiecher here – one of the innumerable helping hands in the Nerdcore Rising circle (okay, we’re not innumerable, I would say there’s between 3 and 33 of us or something… my counting is not so good). Ehem, anyways, we here at Nerdcore Rising had an itch to talk about other nerd movies so whenever we see one currently in the theatres or in one of those loser-with-no-plans-on-a-Friday-NetFlix-nights, we’re going to "review" it. I just saw "Lars & The Real Girl" so I’m gonna give you my esteemed opinions below. Hope you enjoy…

NerdMovie Review: Lars&the Real Girl

As I walked into "Lars and the Real Girl," I thought, "How can they keep this up for 106 minutes?" But,when I walked out, I thought, "This could be the prescription for nerds everywhere!" The premise here is that Lars, played by Ryan Gosling, has finally found the perfect companion – a girl named Bianca. She’s beautiful – no scratch that, she’s HOT. She’s smart. She helps others. Bianca’s only flaw-she’s not a real girl.

When I say she’s not a real girl, I don’t mean she’s a plastic airhead like Laura Conrad on "The Hills"- I mean she’s actually made out of plastic!! (note: some argue that "LC" is too, but for our purposes here, let’s assume she’s a real human being at the mercy of terribly written "reality" – oops, sorry if you were under the impression that "The Hills" was a reality show.)

A plastic girl, maybe, but one thing Bianca is not, is an imaginary girl – which, let’s be honest, is typically the girlfriend of choice for nerds. Chances are if you scored 1500 on your SATs, you’ve also scored with a beautiful girl whose only flaw is that she doesn’t exist. So I say to you nerds: rather than invent an imaginary girlfriend, why not just buy a plastic one.

Lars introduces Bianca to his family and friends as a girl he met on the Internet. In Lars’ defense, they did "meet" on the Internet. There’s a paper trail confirming that he and Bianca "interacted" there. On the other hand, you my dear nerd, could not produce one shred of evidence that you and what’s-her-name had a summer fling at Space Camp.

Plastic Girlfriend 1 – Imaginary Girlfriend 0.

At the urging of the family doctor (Patricia Clarkson), Lars’ family and friends go along with it. She’s invited to dinners, social events and even has regular visits to the doctor. Those around Lars embrace Bianca because they know he’s delusional. In contrast, Imaginary Girlfriend isn’t invited to anything and is never embraced because those around you know you’re a total weirdo.

Lars’ brother Gus (Paul Schneider) and his wife (Emily Mortimer) not only treat Bianca like a real girl, but they treat Lars like a guy who has a girlfriend. Unlike your brother (Football Captain) and his wife (Prom Queen) who totally ignore your "girlfriend" and treat you like a guy who’s never touched a boob he didn’t accidentally bump into.

Plastic Girlfriend 2 – Imaginary Girlfriend 0.

The *sweet* story in the film is that the community rallies around the idea of Bianca to help Lars. As someone who clearly has lost his way – a spiritually nomadic geek, if you will – it’s almost as if Bianca is a tool to "fix" him.

The sad story in the average nerd’s life is that the community wants you to get help – as long as you get it somewhere else. A nerd’s relationship with "that girl from the ..:namespace prefix = st1 ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" />Niagara Falls region" makes him seem like a tool that needs fixing.

Plastic Girlfriend 3 – Imaginary Girlfriend 0.

"Lars and the Real Girl" is literally a model for nerd-love everywhere. Chances are, most nerds are closer to this Lars than the great MC Lars of "Nerdcore Rising" fame – his lyrics probably land him girls that live and breathe.

But, short of being a witty lyricist who gets girls-in-the-flesh, your choice may some day come down to plastic vs. imaginary. I say, choose plastic. Hey, these things are not just anatomically correct these days – you can get one so life-like it will not only have sex with you, but will even stick around to listen to your theory on the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles’ affect on Mid-East politics. And that, my friends, is pretty awesome.